Dear Douchebag Bike Thief Student Leaves Hilarious Note Bike Thief

A college student returned to their usual bike rack one afternoon in early 2016 and found nothing but an empty space where their ride used to be. Instead of just filing a police report and moving on, the owner taped up a handwritten note that addressed the thief directly. The message started with a blunt greeting and then piled on a mix of sarcasm and oddly specific complaints about the missing bike’s condition.

The note called the culprit a “douchebag” right away and went on to list all the small annoyances the theft created, from having to walk to class in the rain to losing a water bottle that was probably still half full. It ended with a half-hearted offer: if the thief ever felt guilty, they could return the bike and the owner promised not to press charges or even ask questions. Photos of the note started circulating on campus message boards and then jumped to social media by the next morning.

Local police said they received the usual number of bike theft reports that week and had no leads on this particular case. The student told friends the note was mostly a way to vent after losing a bike they had bought secondhand just a few months earlier. Several classmates admitted they laughed when they saw the wording, though a few thought the language was a little harsh for someone who had already gotten away with the crime.

By April 2 the note had been shared hundreds of times on Twitter and Reddit, with people adding their own stories of stolen bikes and the creative ways they had tried to shame the thieves. Campus security officers said they planned to review camera footage from the area, but they also warned students that most thefts happened so quickly that clear images were rare. The original owner, meanwhile, was already looking for another cheap bike and said they would probably skip the dramatic note next time.